“At the beginning of the summer of 2022, my third child made a dramatic entrance into the world. My husband, Ruben, was about to leave for work, and I could tell something was starting to happen with the baby. Before either of us had time to really react, our daughter was born in our bedroom, on the floor, with just my husband and I there.
“Just two months later, I started experiencing health issues. I had terrible stomach pains, felt weak all the time, lost a lot of weight, and started to experience numbness in my extremities. My hands and feet would cramp up so badly I couldn’t move them; it progressed to the point where I couldn’t even lift my children. Ruben would have to pick up our newborn for me so I could take care of her. He had to completely hold down the house during that season.
“I went to several doctors and chiropractors. No one could figure out the cause of my symptoms; my immune system was so weak, and I was constantly sick. I had been healthy for most of my life, and I always tried to take care of my body, but no one had any answers. I felt so defeated not being able to find out what was wrong with me.
“I was supposed to return to work that August, but my symptoms weren’t improving. There were times when I would look in the mirror and catch myself thinking, I look completely different than I’ve ever looked. When you see yourself but can’t recognize yourself, you know something is wrong. I didn’t go back to work as planned; I physically couldn’t do anything. My body felt like it was shutting down—my limbs began to quit working. I began to understand why people feel like it’s the end when they get sick. I started to wonder what good it would be to live a life like this. I pondered, Is this going to be forever? Who is going to take care of my kids? Will Ruben have to do everything for me? I struggled with a lot of depression.
“When I finally returned to work, I started to feel a little better. But truthfully, I had to fake it at work; I was in so much pain. It was refreshing to be around my coworkers again—people were always asking me how I was doing, checking up on me and my family, or praying for me. Working at Gateway is so special—my work family truly helped keep my spirits up.
“When it came time for Gateway’s annual conference in September, I was so excited! I love attending the conference. I love serving at the conference, and I could never have anticipated how special this year was going to be for me. On day one during afternoon worship, I was distracted and in a lot of pain. As I was standing in the back of the auditorium, I felt in my spirit the Lord ask me, ‘Do you think I want to heal you?’ I wrestled with that question for a while. I believed it for other people, but I had a harder time believing it for myself. I felt the Lord again; He said, ‘You need to believe it for yourself.’ So I kept worshipping.
“At the end of the day, I realized my symptoms had gone away. I wondered if it was a one-off, but the next day I still didn’t have symptoms! During one of the final worship sessions of conference, my boss pointed out two women leading worship who had experienced God’s healing. She said, ‘Look at those women up there—they are so strong and powerful. And God healed them! You should believe that too. You should see those women up there and agree that you can have the same thing.’ That’s when I really got excited and believed God could do it for me too!
“I continued to be symptom-free, but wondered if it was all in my head. I told Ruben I hadn’t had pain, numbness, or dizziness, and I had so much energy. I told him I thought God healed me! His response was so simple. He said, ‘Okay, then walk in it.’
“I was so nervous to tell people because what if it was a fluke? But I felt the Lord leading me to tell people and live out my healing, which was almost as challenging as any other part of the journey. I had to take my thoughts captive and avoid thinking, What if it came back? I had to trust by faith that God healed me. God doesn’t make mistakes, so healing me was not a mistake! It’s easy to believe that for other people, but the rubber really meets the road when you have to believe it for yourself.
“There was no big crescendo in my healing story. In one simple moment of worship in the back of the room at a conference, God healed me. I didn’t do anything to receive the healing. As I reflected on that moment, I felt God tell me, ‘I did it this way because I know you strive.’ He’s right; I always strive for His grace, affection, attention, and forgiveness. He really impressed that on me: ‘I did it this way so you’d know you didn’t need to do anything to receive this healing. You didn’t need to show Me how great you are or perform any acts. I healed you because I love you and I wanted to.’
“This season taught me unconditional love in a new way—from God and from my husband. Ruben was the true definition of commitment through all of it; he did everything to the fullest and didn’t complain. He’s always been in our marriage, but I saw how purely he was in it in a new way. He truly loved me and cared for me “in sickness and in health” when I couldn’t offer him anything. This experience strengthened our commitment to each other. Our surname, ‘Robles,’ means oak tree, and I can’t think of a better symbol for our family: When hard times come, our roots grow deeper.
“If you’re waiting for your own healing, just take it day by day. I can get caught up worrying about the future, but God tells us tomorrow has enough worries for itself. Take it one day at a time. Trust God is holding you through this day, and He will hold you tomorrow. I’ve learned even when things don’t feel ‘okay’ by my definition, God is holding me and my family. He leads my life, and I’m in good hands. And you are too! He hasn’t forsaken you; He loves you more than you could ever imagine.
“I’m so excited to tell people my story. I know God heals people in different ways, and there is so much purpose in His plans. I can finally pick up my kids and play with them. I can support my husband and be the wife and mom I wasn’t able to be when I was sick. It’s so easy to take things for granted, but now, I want to live out the rest of my days the best I can. I am grateful and thankful to be fully loved and fully healed.”
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March 3, 2023