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January 31, 2019

“For as far back as I can remember, I struggled with depression. One day it was so bad that I decided to research what would happen if I overdosed on one of my prescriptions. I was feeling so isolated and was beginning to spiral downward. My husband called to check on me, and I was honest with him, so he came home immediately and took me to the hospital. That’s when, at 42 years old, my diagnosis changed from severe clinical depression to Bipolar II Disorder. After eight days in the hospital and changes to my medication, I got better but continued to struggle on a day-to-day basis. For the next nine and a half years, I was essentially a walking dead person. I wasn’t a good wife or mother, and I truly thought my family would be better off without me. I knew they deserved so much more than what they were getting. The emotional pain was so intense I would spend time in the closet crying and screaming and asking God why He wouldn’t just let me die.

I’ve owned a One Year Bible since 1991 and have tried to read through it many times but never seemed to stay the course for an entire year. However, in January 2015 I decided I would read through it and indeed finish it this time. Having the Bible app on my phone made a big difference. I stayed with the plan, and by May it dawned on me that I felt better! My stress levels did not go down. My medicine did not change. Life did not get any easier. But I felt better! I was like a garden having come through a long, cold winter, and little by little, I was coming alive again. I quit sleeping so much and even enjoyed going out of the house. While I was depressed, I’d struggle to go anywhere, but now I love being around people. The Word of God literally lifted me up out of the pit!”

–Patti Murphy