15 Ancient Proverbs for Bros

01 | A bro hug is not a bro hug unless it follows these steps: hand clasp, shoulder bump, and pat on the back.

02 | A bro is considered wise if he does not speak to other bros in the bathroom.

03 | Skinny jeans do not make a bro skinny.

04 | A bearded bro who cannot change a tire must shave his beard.

05 | It takes two bros to barbecue: one bro to cook and one bro to tell the other bro how to cook.

06 | A bro looking for a Proverbs 31 wife better be an Ephesians 5:25 bro.

07 | A CrossFit bro should not post his daily workouts on Instagram. #CutItOut

08 | When a bro is searching for a wife, he needs a “wingbro” by his side. Failure is not an option for the wingbro.

09 | A single bro should know he won’t see his newly married bro for at least six months.

10 | A bro with Bieber Fever has a serious illness and should take something for that immediately.

11 | A bro shall refer to other bros as the following: Bro, Bro Montana, Broseph, Brofessor, Hulk Brogan, or Dude.

12 | Better is a buffer seat between bros at the movies than the possibility of two bros touching elbows.

13 | A bro’s coffee should never contain peppermint, hazelnut, or pumpkin spice.

14 | Holding a bro’s hand is only permissible during a greeting or a group prayer.

15 | A bro who sees Chip Gaines at Men’s Summit will be obligated to add shiplap to his home.