• Finally finishing construction on that Y2K bunker you started back in 1999.
  • Completing a marathon ... on Netflix.
  • Resolving to do "more good stuff" this year.
  • Training to join the Dallas Cowboys. (Actually, go for it! They can't get any worse!)
  • Building a moat around your house just in case the Devil doesn't know how to swim. #oversaved
  • Working on bettering your ... selfie.
  • Growing your hair out so you can style it into a man bun. (If you haven't started yet, it's already too late.)
  • Improving your social life by spending more time on social media.
  • Spending the next year training to win a hotdog eating competition. (Even if you win, you still lose.)
  • Switching to decaf.